While contemplating the right person you would like to marry, it is not very unusual to search for the perfect mate. However, before that one comes along, checking out matrimony sites, or dating someone, can be a way to know him/her. But, just in case you believe that the two of you won’t suit, here is a short list of all the things to do, and what not to do at all while politely refusing other matches.
While refusing a prospective matrimonial match, do not rely on your parents or other people to go and break it to him/her. Rather, take up the responsibility to inform yourself. It is a far better gesture than asking someone else to relay the news to your match. Also, while refusing, keep these do-s and don’ts in mind.
- Be gentle while letting him/her down. You might have just chatted online, or met each other once, or dated a few days, or even talked to each other’s families, it does not matter what the level of your relationship with the other person is. Whatever might not suit, understand that a human being’s feelings (and in some case, the feelings of his/her family and/or friends too) might get hurt. So please refrain from using any accusing or offensive language.
- Be understanding. Your prospective match might have had his/her heart set on you. So, while letting someone down, be understanding, and try to understand their point of view. Listen carefully to what he/she says, and once they have spoken about their issues, then talk about what you might not be very comfortable with.
- Be respectful. Explain that it is not your intention to hurt, but you believe that a match would not be suitable for certain reasons. The reasons might be many, but stick to a few which you can express with ease – like maybe you feel that your mentalities are a bit too different, or your outlook is different from the other person – the options are endless.
- Point out flaws. If you don’t like him/her, that’s fine. But the “faults” you just pointed out might be perfect for someone else. We all come with our set of good and bad points, and it is perfectly fine to have some bad points as well as good. If the other party wants to learn the reason, do not accuse of some issue with the person or his/her family.
- Be rude or indifferent. Remember, the other person is human. If you do not want to be with him/her, it is your decision, and that is absolutely fine. But the best way is to either call that person on the phone, or meet up, and politely explain your reason. If the other party wants to know the reason, state it nicely but firmly, and then explain why you believe you might not suit.
- Be abusive, physically or verbally. Never use any kind of foul language while telling ‘No’ to someone’s matrimony offer. That is unacceptable, and you should always maintain civility, no matter how the other person might provoke you. If the person you are turning down start hurling abuses, do not respond to them, because maintaining dignity and being firm about the decision should be your ideal stance